How Cliven Bundy Can Get The Federal Government Off His Back

Patriots,

Rancher Cliven Bundy was not represented by counsel nor did he have a Public Relations person assisting him in his recent battle with the BLM. I have a number of things he can do to mitigate the issues.

He could decorate his ranch with pro Russian/Communist posters like Jay Carney and his lovely spouse, ABC's own Claire Shipman have adorning their home.

He could have his cattle graze on marijuana, to demonstrate to government that he is forward looking, and ecologically minded.

He could rename his ranch Benghazi West and be assured no Federal agency would come near it and when asked questions about it they would obfuscate and flat out lie. obama would relocate all BLM personnel to posts across the world thus making it virtually impossible for Congressional investigators to locate and interview them.

He could donate a large sum to Alzheimer's research in the name of Harry Reid.

He could claim his cattle all have some 'Black Angus' ancestry and request immediate protection from the Justice Department citing possible 'black cattle intimidation.'

Mr. Bundy could offer part of his land to build a Mosque. That would further appease the 'Justice is Blind' Justice Department.

He could further point out that he was well, watch the clip:

                                       'Sheriff murdered, women stampeded and cattle raped'

In order to show the Federal government that cattle are not the primary source of farts = methane, he can make an Offer of proof that they are not the prime offenders:

In order to show that he was all inclusive, he could sponsor a 'Blue Oyster Dance'
for all members of Law Enforcement and especially the BLM where all could: 'come as you really want to be.'

And last but not least, he could do an Elizabeth Warren, and claim Native Heritage. That would endear him to the Federal government and a host of special interest groups. His family would qualify for college tuition and he could open a Casino on his land.

Allow me to recap. If Mr. Bundy would claim Native Ancestry, insinuate he may be gay or at least gay friendly, Islam-Centric, an advocate of marijuana use, believes the Administration line on Benghazi: 'There was nothing we could do to help those brave Americans' and an environmentalist he might even be nominated for a Nobel Prize. I understand they had either lowered or eliminated the bar since obama (small 'o' intentional).

'When the government violates the law, then there isn't any law, just a fight for survival' 

 Semper Paratus

Inspector Javert
Patriot & Bard